🅢

dutchster:

when you lean forward in the car the seatbelt is like “WAIT TOO FAST I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO DIE” like aw someone cares about me

kingoftheniall:

On a scale from 1 to Samsung how much do you hate Apple?

(Source: kingoftheniall)

(Source: dulect)

waitress: i'm sorry we're all out of mozzarella sticks
waitress: sir please stop cyring

(Source: 20aliens)

neptunain:

my anaconda will mull it over

(Source: babynectar)

five-head:

Steal his look: Fred the Fish

Gucci Leather straight-leg pant-$2,300

Hermes Collier de Chien leather belt-$2,325

maniclaughter:

raggediandi:

ghostgif:

when you yell “puppy!” at a lil dog and they get happy and wag their lil tail like “yess!! i am a puppy!! a baby dog!!! thank you!!!!!!”

When you yell “puppy!!!!” At an old dog and they wag their tail and get all happy like “yes I am still a little dog thank you for noticing! !”

considerablybigben:

*puts down capri sun* i am ready for a sex

cornfuse:

you’re as unsatisfying as cold french fries

toodopetoexist:

lemoncamel:

salemanders:

thats how we do it in the hood

Not in my hood son

you saying, homie?

(Source: manaphy)

(Source: tuckyourchain)

(Source: gnorcs)